The Love Struggle
COMING DOWN FROM MY HIGH HORSE: 5 reasons why I’m NOT a great catch…
Thanks to the two degrees I’ve earned and attending one of the top schools in the nation for my field, I have this attitude that I am a SUPER great catch and that once a guy meets me and has one conversation with me, I have no more work to do. He’ll know I’m the baddest bish… even if I have a mountain of student loan debt and am making $8 an hour, because that’s TOTALLY attractive.
*Webbie Voice* I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!!!! *side-eye*
But an old flame “blew my sh*t” this weekend during a heart-to-heart conversation. When we broke up, I was feeling like Beyonce… WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?!?!! While we were reflecting on where we went wrong and what could’ve been done better, he struggled to come up with a reason as to why he lost interest.He thought I was the “perfect” girlfriend… then he admitted… It was the way I dressed.
-__O
I don’t dress like a freaking stud, so I couldn’t see the problem. Why does it matter if I wear dresses, I’m still GORGEOUS LOL… Who wears a dress and heels to a backyard party, anyway?!… and then, suddenly I realized… A lot of ladies do. So, within a matter of minutes, my old love moved from being a shallow S-O-B to a genius… like Steve Harvey.
His confession sent me into a deep self-reflection and I came up with 5 reasons as to why I’m probably NOT great catch…
1. I’M NOT YOUR “TYPICAL GIRL”
When I was younger, I wore my brother’s shirts. I had an obsession with Jordans and I bought MEN’S jerseys. Since then, I’ve traded in the oversized clothes for tiny V-necks, fitted jeans, and Nike trainers. I love heels too, but if given a choice, It’s obvious what I’d pick. I also don’t iron my clothes, I fall asleep with SportsCenter on my TV, I read Wired and GQ articles religiously and I talk a WHOLE LOT of trash, especially during football season.
2. I HAVE VERY STRICT MORALS…
I don’t have sex… A combination of bad experiences and a quest for spiritual harmony have resulted in a vow of celibacy. Which results in lots of name-calling. I’ve heard, “pilgrim”, “nun” and “desert” so far…. Eff my life.
3. I’M A FEMINIST…
No, I haven’t set my bras on fire, simply because America would be very angry if I walked around braless. Trust me. LOL But I believe in balance and fairness, so I don’t really subscribe to gender roles. Don’t expect me to cook and wash dishes because that’s what your Mom did. How about YOU wash the dishes and I cut the grass.
4. I’M SUPER FRIENDLY…
One of my exes told me I was too friendly, because I would actually hold conversations with his friends. He hated it soooo much. I CAN’T HELP IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE SAVAGES. I’m just nosey and want to be all up in their business. Nothing more, nothing less.
5. I’M FREAKING AWKWARD…
Ever since my 6th grade dance when I felt a boy’s peen on the small of my back, I’ve sworn off dancing. Therefore, I can’t dance. I do a “rapper bounce” when I’m in the club, and I look really lame (Think “Drake Hand”). If you’re looking for a sexy show, I might not be your girl. I also snort when I laugh, laugh when I get “chose” and don’t take compliments well.
WELP, THERE IT IS FELLAS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…
PROCEED WITH CAUTION. ;-)
NO CARE OR COMMITMENT?! NO CUTTTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
We hope you’re ready for Webisode 4… Can you guess what it’s about?!
Yes!!!!!!
(via iamyab)
Webisode 3: “The List”
Summer Girls by LFO was one of my most favorite songs as a kid. So much that I actually bought the CD and dreamed of days where I’d frolic on the beach in Abercrombie and Fitch. Because, you know, they liked “girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch”.
That wasn’t the beginning of my lengthy love affair with boys of the Caucasian persuasion. I had my choice in every boy band, Brad in LFO, JC Chasez in N*Sync, Brian and AJ in Backstreet and I kept it in the family with 98 Degrees- crushing on both Nick and Drew Lachey. The sight of a shirtless Nick in “The Hardest Thing” video made me feel what no young girl should. *flashes back and clutches pearls*
But I digress. This whole “Jungle Fever” thing has always been one-sided for me. When I was 12, a family vacation placed me at Wheels Inn in Toronto, Canada. I was playing some stupid game in the arcade when I saw him. (No, sadly it wasn’t Drake.) Although my teeth were jacked and I was chubby, I felt confident enough to talk to him. He was khaki-colored (word to dream hampton) with a white tee, dark jeans and glasses. I told him to meet me in the arcade again at 6pm.
For the sake of my ego, I’ll say that he was possibly napping or his parents decided vacation time was over. -___-
That was my only “romantic” encounter with a tenda’ vanilla (yes, I’m really LOL)….
BUT THANK GOD FOR BASEBALL!!!!
I had been downtown all day, celebrating the start of this year’s baseball season with fellow Tigers’ fans. I rapped “Superbass” for a Marine in order to win a free T-shirt and just for doing the flirtatious stare, I got my friends and I free elephant ears. They were from a 37-year-old… *Side-eye*
We hopped on the People Mover (Detroit’s ratchet version of an in-air Subway) to get back to the car and immediately, I fell in love. This time I was too afraid to make the 1st move. So we went back and forth during the ride, not saying a word but our eyes telling all.
His stop came before mine and as he walked off and the doors closed, my heart crushed. In what felt like the longest seconds ever, I pouted, waved and blew my love a kiss goodbye.
I was sad and angry with myself for being such a wussy (switch the W for a P), but I did learn something from the situation:
White boys REALLY ARE checking for me!!!! Haha…
*Pops Something New into the DVD machine*
Love Strugglers, I know we can all feel this one. Make sure you click through to see the entire post!
That day we broke up
We woke up early in the morning
To make love
.
We had breakfast in bed – bread and eggs –
Loudly
And we ate
And made jokes
As if everything was going to be OK
.
We didn’t kiss
We never did
.
I was wearing my yellow and orange summer dress
The one…
Making LOVE to the Struggle
There is a toothbrush sitting on my sink. It’s of the Colgate variety. Blue with medium bristles, meticulously replaced into its original wrappings and left on my sink. This guy left it there a few a weeks back, I’m assuming with the intention of using again, but it’s been a few weeks and I’m pretty sure he won’t come back for it.
I thought about throwing it in the garbage. Incinerating it in a blaze of reddish yellow regret. But what if he does come back one day? What if he returns, searching for his toothbrush after another night/morning of amazing conversation with me, and I have to explain that I burned it, because I thought he wasn’t coming back? Admitting that I set fire to his toothbrush would be especially awkward, because it would reveal the fact that maybe I actually did give a fuck after all, since people who don’t give a fuck wouldn’t take the time to torch a toothbrush. So instead, I’m leaving it on my sink, to prove to both this guy and myself, that I don’t give a fuck.
But… the fact that I’ve just spent fifteen minutes recalling this lone memory of us, negates the final sentence of the above paragraph, thus proving that I do give a fuck after all.
I find it so hilarious how uncomfortable people get when you talk about being single. My friends seem more embarrassed about my single status than I am. It’s most likely my own level of confidence that causes me to feel so comfortable with talking about being single and the struggles that come along with it. PSA…Its life!
Okay, so yes, I may talk about it way more than others, but I find a lesson in every experience that comes along in life. I’m a firm believer that some things really do happen for a reason. You just never know when your situation may hit home with someone else. Hence, the reason I like to share them! People always tell me “you need a man” or “you’re desperate”. Why? Is it because I make it so obvious that I’m single? Look, if I find my own singleness entertaining, there is no reason why you shouldn’t feel the same.
I always joke and say, if I needed a man, I would have one. There is no need for me to be desperate. *snap with an eye roll* So don’t you worry your little head, I’ll be just fine. I know the powers I have and the dangers that come along with them. I’m just keeping these babies locked up! Do you and I’ll do me 
So, with that being said, be yourself. Don’t let another person’s awkwardness and narrow-mindedness make you uncomfortable with you. Remember, it’s your world and they’re just a squirrel trying to find a nut.
Yours Truly,
Irene Nichole
P.S. The struggle is meant to make you better than you were before. It’s only temporary. So embrace the struggle.
