Summer Girls by LFO was one of my most favorite songs as a kid. So much that I actually bought the CD and dreamed of days where I’d frolic on the beach in Abercrombie and Fitch. Because, you know, they liked “girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch”.
That wasn’t the beginning of my lengthy love affair with boys of the Caucasian persuasion. I had my choice in every boy band, Brad in LFO, JC Chasez in N*Sync, Brian and AJ in Backstreet and I kept it in the family with 98 Degrees- crushing on both Nick and Drew Lachey. The sight of a shirtless Nick in “The Hardest Thing” video made me feel what no young girl should. *flashes back and clutches pearls*
But I digress. This whole “Jungle Fever” thing has always been one-sided for me. When I was 12, a family vacation placed me at Wheels Inn in Toronto, Canada. I was playing some stupid game in the arcade when I saw him. (No, sadly it wasn’t Drake.) Although my teeth were jacked and I was chubby, I felt confident enough to talk to him. He was khaki-colored (word to dream hampton) with a white tee, dark jeans and glasses. I told him to meet me in the arcade again at 6pm.
For the sake of my ego, I’ll say that he was possibly napping or his parents decided vacation time was over. -___-
That was my only “romantic” encounter with a tenda’ vanilla (yes, I’m really LOL)….
BUT THANK GOD FOR BASEBALL!!!!
I had been downtown all day, celebrating the start of this year’s baseball season with fellow Tigers’ fans. I rapped “Superbass” for a Marine in order to win a free T-shirt and just for doing the flirtatious stare, I got my friends and I free elephant ears. They were from a 37-year-old… *Side-eye*
We hopped on the People Mover (Detroit’s ratchet version of an in-air Subway) to get back to the car and immediately, I fell in love. This time I was too afraid to make the 1st move. So we went back and forth during the ride, not saying a word but our eyes telling all.
His stop came before mine and as he walked off and the doors closed, my heart crushed. In what felt like the longest seconds ever, I pouted, waved and blew my love a kiss goodbye.
I was sad and angry with myself for being such a wussy (switch the W for a P), but I did learn something from the situation:
White boys REALLY ARE checking for me!!!! Haha…
*Pops Something New into the DVD machine*
There is a toothbrush sitting on my sink. It’s of the Colgate variety. Blue with medium bristles, meticulously replaced into its original wrappings and left on my sink. This guy left it there a few a weeks back, I’m assuming with the intention of using again, but it’s been a few weeks and I’m pretty sure he won’t come back for it.
I thought about throwing it in the garbage. Incinerating it in a blaze of reddish yellow regret. But what if he does come back one day? What if he returns, searching for his toothbrush after another night/morning of amazing conversation with me, and I have to explain that I burned it, because I thought he wasn’t coming back? Admitting that I set fire to his toothbrush would be especially awkward, because it would reveal the fact that maybe I actually did give a fuck after all, since people who don’t give a fuck wouldn’t take the time to torch a toothbrush. So instead, I’m leaving it on my sink, to prove to both this guy and myself, that I don’t give a fuck.
But… the fact that I’ve just spent fifteen minutes recalling this lone memory of us, negates the final sentence of the above paragraph, thus proving that I do give a fuck after all.
I find it so hilarious how uncomfortable people get when you talk about being single. My friends seem more embarrassed about my single status than I am. It’s most likely my own level of confidence that causes me to feel so comfortable with talking about being single and the struggles that come along with it. PSA…Its life!
Okay, so yes, I may talk about it way more than others, but I find a lesson in every experience that comes along in life. I’m a firm believer that some things really do happen for a reason. You just never know when your situation may hit home with someone else. Hence, the reason I like to share them! People always tell me “you need a man” or “you’re desperate”. Why? Is it because I make it so obvious that I’m single? Look, if I find my own singleness entertaining, there is no reason why you shouldn’t feel the same.
I always joke and say, if I needed a man, I would have one. There is no need for me to be desperate. *snap with an eye roll* So don’t you worry your little head, I’ll be just fine. I know the powers I have and the dangers that come along with them. I’m just keeping these babies locked up! Do you and I’ll do me
So, with that being said, be yourself. Don’t let another person’s awkwardness and narrow-mindedness make you uncomfortable with you. Remember, it’s your world and they’re just a squirrel trying to find a nut.
P.S. The struggle is meant to make you better than you were before. It’s only temporary. So embrace the struggle.